Category Archives: Lifestyle

Shadow Glen Knolls at Aviara Mist Ridge

One of my favorite things about Southern California is the ersatz names that tract home developments are given. One day, you have a scrub-covered patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere, the next day, you have “Sierra Hills at Meadow Glen”. Never mind that they paved over the hills to make the guardhouse at the gates, or that the closest thing to a “meadow glen” is your 40 square foot patch of backyard.

Via Curbed LA, here’s your Guide to Suburban Subdivision Naming !


Local Robber Barron / DotCom magnate Felix Tibs has relaunched seminal I-Business Portal in a big way!   Not only that, but he’s also joined the ranks of eleven billion pre-teens with a Myspace page!  Don’t forget to add him as a friend!

LA Weekly Detour

This weekend I headed up to Los Angeles for the LA Weekly Detour Street Festival. Saw a bunch of bands including Beck and Queens of the Stone Age.

Check out the pics and enjoy the bullet points below!

Highlights include:

  • Paying 30% over face value on tickets for processing fees, reservation fees, and a $2.50 charge to email the tickets.
  • Riding the LA Metro from Long Beach to Downtown LA via Compton,Watts, and Slauson district. That is one big-ass ghetto! Cholos were throwing signs at the train as we rode past. We were joined by some actual gangsters on the way home.
  • The youngsters are sporting some seriously ridiculous 80’s gear these days. Leggings, hotpants, vests, spray-painted gold shoes? One chick was looking straight off the set of Little House on the Prairie. I don’t understand the steez… what is it supposed to be? I could bust out my Bad Boy Club jams and OP shirt with my gradient-tinted aviator glasses… would that be cool?
  • Beck had a video of the entire band playing.. as puppets. That was cool. Did you know Beck also has songs that aren’t just incoherent gibberish?
  • I was surprised at the number of people making phone calls and texting during a rock show. Best was the hipster doofus with the crackberry… can’t afford anything but thrift store clothes yet he’s rocking the $70/month service plan?
  • Queens of the Stone age put on a good set. Also saw a band called Nortec Collective which was cool trippy techno. Their stage show consisted of three guys with laptops. What were they working so hard on up there… checking their email?
  • It’s really get hard to get drunk on $6 beers… next time we’re bringing some tequila.
  • Hyperactive waitresses before coffee are not funny.
  • After not hearing it for easily 5 years, I heard Extreme’s `More Than Words` twice in two days!

Grassy Sassy

There is an enemy among us, and it is called Bermuda Grass.

One day, while mowing my lush, deep green lawn, I noticed a small patch of ‘fuzzy’ grass.  I thought “no big deal, it’s just grass, right?”. Wrong. It was Bermuda Grass.

3 months later, the small fuzzy patch has become a big fuzzy patch, and the battle to eliminate the invader has begun.

Bermuda Grass is a rhizome, meaning it actually grows laterally, beneath the soil.  It’s roots are hair-like strands which can extend up to 2 feet below the surface.  The Bermuda spreads laterally along the surface, propagating a mesh of woody roots on top of healthy turfgrasses (like my precious) tall fescue.

Bermuda can’t be removed by hand.  Believe me I tried – an hour of pulling might kill a square foot.  Kinda futile when you have 1000 square feet of grass.  Herbicidal options are few – most internet searches yield only the dreaded ‘nuclear option’ – kill the whole lawn  – Bermuda and all – with RoundUP and start over.

After much searching, I located a product called Ornamec, supposedly the only product that can kill Bermuda.  Extremely expensive and only available via landscaping product wholesalers, I have placed my hope and faith in this nasty juice.  Let’s hope it works!

Sassy’s list of banned furniture

As a new homeowner, the quest for proper home furnishings is a relentless pursuit. From antique stores to garage stores to Craigslist, the search continues. Here’s a quick list of furniture that is banned from Casa De Sassy, for your reading enjoyment.

  • Black lacquer furniture of any kind (single man alert)
  • ‘Entertainment Centers’ (why do people need these?)
  • Anything made of melamine, engineered wood, or particle board (lifespan: 3 years?)
  • 70’s era rounded oak bookshelves
  • Anything “tuscan” style or made of stone (for indoors… what is this, an ancient temple?)
  • Used couches or mattresses of any kind (gross)
  • Anything ‘vintage’. Vintage is a code word for ‘seventies’.
  • Anything made of green, grey, black, or purple leather. There are no teal cows.
  • Anything from Ikea. (lifespan: 1 year? See ‘particle board’)
  • ‘Shabby Chic’ furniture which is actually just shabby.
  • Futons of any kind (see ‘used mattresses’)
  • Papasan chairs and beanbags (seventies are over, kids)
  • Bamboo, Wicker or Rattan!
  • Asian-themed furniture of any kind.
  • Beds with integrated shelving or lighting.


Black Jack David come ridin’ through the woods,
Singin’ so loud and merry
That the green hills all around him ring,
And he charmed the heart of a lady,
And he charmed the heart of a lady.

“How old are you, my pretty little miss,
How old are you, my lady?”
She answered him with a “Tee, bee, hee,
I’ll be sixteen next summer.”

“Come, go with me, my pretty little miss,
Come, go with me, my lady;
I’ll take you across the deep blue sea
Where you never shall want for money.

“Won’t you pull off those high heeled shoes
All made of Spanish leather;
Won’t you put on some low heeled shoes?
And we’ll ride off together.”

She soon pulled off those high heeled shoes
All made of Spanish leather;
She put on those low heeled shoes
And they rode off together.

‘Twas late at night when the land-lord come
Inquirin’ for his lady.
He was posted by a fair young maid:
“She’s gone with Black Jack David.”

“Go saddle me my noble steed,
Go bridle me my derby;
I’ll ride to the east, I’ll ride to the west,
Or overtake my lady.”

He rode till he came to the deep below;
The stream was deep and muddy.
Tears came tricklin’ down his cheeks,
For there he spied his lady.

“How can you leave your house and land,
How can you leave your baby,
How can you leave your husband dear
To go with Black Jack David?”

“Very well can I leave my house and land,
Very well can I leave my baby,
Much better can I leave my husband dear
To go with Black Jack David.

“I won’t t come back to you, my love,
Nor I won’t come back, my husband;
I wouldn’t give a kiss from David’s lips
For all your land and money.

“Last night I lay on a feather bed
Beside my husband and baby;
Tonight I lay on the cold damp ground
Beside the Black Jack David.”

She soon run through her gay clothing,
Her velvet shoes and stockings;
Her gold ring off her finger was gone,
And the gold plate off her bosom.

“Oh, once I had a house and land,
A feather bed and money,
But now I’ve come to an old straw pad,
With nothing but Black Jack David.”

Time to get outta dodge

Well kiddies, it’s time for some much-deserved R&R.  The whole in-law clan is heading on down to Mexico for a week of touristing in Guadalajara, Guanajuato, and San Miguel de Allende.  Full report and pics next weekend.