The Sassbert Primer

* is a web developer
* lives in San Diego, CA
* born and raised in East Northport, NY
* graduated NHS 1994
* graduated SDSU 2003
* married nearly a year
* has 2 brothers also in SD
* loves kitties
* likes food, epecially steaks and pizza
* beer drinker (prefers lagers)
* 60’s rocker wannabee
* prefers his shirts ironed
* never wears pleats
* 15 1/2 shirt
* 36 x 32 pants
* 10 1/2 shoe
* only wears 100% cotton
* drives a 2003 Mini Cooper, but really wants that black 89′ 5-series
* no longer uses the word ‘party’ as a verb
* has been blogging since before it was cool
* has latent workaholic tendencies
* has a low bullshit tolerance
* cursed with a variety of foul stenches
* skateboards and doesn’t suck
* contemplates moving to NYC every day
* has hair that grows like a weed
* is his own worst critic
* stays up too late
* gets up too early
* works too many hours
* maintains a strict ‘no whiners’ policy
* is getting fatter by the hour
* gets a good night’s sleep whenever possible
* doesn’t really care about material success, but gets it when he can
* isn’t into scenes or scenesters
* avoids excessive time spent on hobbies
* hates to be broke, but has been more than once
* remembers everything he hears and sees
* encyclopedic knowledge of trivial crap
* too cynical for his age
* plays hardball when necessary
* mostly honest and trustworthy
* values personal responsibility above nearly everything else
* prefers reality to fantasy
* likes movies
* has been known to rock out
* is a news junkie
* still reads MAD magazine
* is ready to by a house and ‘setttle down’
* is hot for Gweneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and J-Lo
* Likes rap, sometimes
* is never pedestrian
* eats bagels
* is not particularly interested in religion
* is not a pseudo-intellectual
* studied latin, philosophy & art
* is not impressed by bling
* prefers brunettes to blondes
* is not interested in 99% of modern art
* clings to the belief that skills matter
* could sell ice to eskimos but doesn’t want to be as salesman
* doesn’t own a cell phone, but is getting closer to buying one
* wishes he had gone to a good college
* likes finance and business
* stays hungry
* wants to start a business
* loves travel
* was a filthy hippie
* observes people’s habits even when they aren’t aware of them
* doesn’t want free stuff
* avoids cake before dinner
* is never, ever satisfied.