Posted on : February 10, 2001

by: Sassy

Before a skater becomes a highly-paid professional athlete, he must endure a lengthy incubation process to hone his skills and image. Before the shoe deals and the free cars, many of todays top pros got their start riding for janky sponsors. You may not know this, but 99% of skateboard companies are actually owned by the same 5 companies. And these companies get their wood, wheels and clothes from the same 3 wood shops, wheel shops and clothing factories. These are the companies like World Industries or Birdhouse or Real, with highly-paid riders and huge catalogs.

Janky sponsors are a necessary part of the skateboarding industry. Not every skater is going to possss the amazing talent of a Saari or a Reynolds, but with time, many skaters on janky teams become the hottest pros of tomorow. And I’m not talking about skateshops, skateparks, and other local sponsors, I’m talking about the blurry ads in the back of Thrasher. In this article I will identify the janky sponsors and categorize them based on several criteria.

Running a Buisness is Harder than I Thought!
Since skateboarding began to get popular again, about 1994-96, legions of people have sought to grab a chunk of the skateboard pie by starting their own janky deck, wheel, and hardware companies.

Defining characteristics:
• Owned by a middle-aged man from Ohio who has never skated a day in his life.
• Company image is either grafitti, rave, or drug-related.
• Pro team is either nonexistent, consists of local kids at skatepark, or former unknown pro who blew out his knee 2 years ago.
• Ads are laid out entirely in cracked copy of photoshop with no attention paid to spelling or grammar. Text is antialiased as much as possible.
• Blurry, point-and-shoot photos of rider doing cutting-edge tricks like kickflips on quarterpipes and grabs off roofs.
• Board graphics are either graffitti tags,stoned mushroom people, or a depiction of “urban youths” killing/maiming authority figures.
• Examples: Goodtimes,I-Level,Kingdom,Natural Koncept

Lifespan: 2 months to ten years

Straight outta Nowhere
Differing from the previous category, these janksters posess huge budgets. These companies attempt to make a splash on the scene with huge ad layouts and contest sponsorships. The most visible of these companies are the skate websites. Also this includes established “extreme” companies with absolutely nothing to do with skating who are attempting to cash in.

Defining characteristics:
• Owned by a faceless corporate entity with 100% skate-proofed headquarters.
• Usually fronted by aging ex-pros and industry burnouts.
• Gimmicky websites with useless “build your own board/shoe/wheel” feature.
• Pro team entirely comprised of street skaters who talked too much shit when they were good and now can’t get on a decent team.
• Examples: Black Flys, FUCT,Anarchy Eyewear, Nike, JNCO, Nirve.com.

Lifespan: 24 – 72 months

Back from the Dead
These are resurfaced companies which were once successful in skateboarding’s heyday. Usually the company is actually backed by either of the previous janky sponsors.

Defining characteristics:
• Out of date product: 9″ Boards, 39mm wheels, mid-tops.
• Unheard-of pro rider who shocks the industry with incredibly outdated skating.
• Video-grab sequence of switch inward heels to late flip f/s shove to primo slide impossible out on a curb.(foot dragged)
• Vert Skaters
• Examples: Vision Street Wear, Toxic Wheels, Dogtown, Zorlac.

Lifespan: Long enough to score.

The Dregs
This category includes many different janky companies, ranging from blank board makers to the lucrative “skate jewelery” sector.

Defining characteristics:
• Product is available on Ebay
• Ad depicts skateboarder circa 1992 standing around smoking a cigarette.
• Pro rider is a barefooted longboarder girl doing a bert slide.
• Decks are made of Insta-Snap, 4- ply reject maple.
• Wheels are made of melted-down Bic pens.
• 1-800 number in ad is perpetually disconnected.
• Product lines include “Extreme Beverages” and t-shirts with rude sayings on them.
• Examples: Bizo shoes, Lars Tetens, see images.

Lifespan: Too long.

They Really Blew it this Time
These companies are almost always started by successful pros who are looking to invest their hard-earned dough. The problem is, if they were good at buisness, they’d be working in an office instead of slamming down 23 stairs to get paid. Also known as “Owned by Mike Vallely”.

Defining characteristics:
• Wheel companies that will be gone in hours.
• Griptape pro teams. “This is the GRITTIEST, homey!”
• Hardware teams and “Innovative Mounting Concepts”.
• Truck companies with kooky monsters cast in them.
• Bearing company that differs from all others by the color of the box.
• Christian board companies.
• Examples: Momentum wheels, Accell, Transit, True(Clothing/Boards), etc..

Lifespan: Ranges from several days to several weeks.