It’s been a long time since I first got down
2/1/2001
by: Kilgore
It’s been a long time since I first got down, but I still keep makin these funky ass sounds.
What’s crackin off celerizers. Damn it’s been a while since I got on this shit so I figured I spit some game for that ass.
As you probably don’t know, I got fired from my job, this is what happened.
See, I was goin around diliverin all this mail an shit right. We were still getting death threats and shit ever since we released that black lickorish flavered, bowling shoe dissinfectant. So I’m going about my businesses, droppin off all kinds of shit. When I finally get around to research and development, I’m straight tired as fuck. So I go over to the drinkin fountin and I start drinkin some water. When I stand back up, I see this fine ass heina all chillin on this guy’s desk. She was lookin all good and shit, and she was totally givin me the eye. So I’m like it’s time to bust a move. So I start spittn game, right, just goin all out, usin all my best material, and she’s digin. She’s all rubbin on her legs and shit. I’m like “hell yes, I got this chick hooked”. Then out of no where this dorky ass fool comes up and he’s like “What are you doing talkin to my girl”. So I go “Hey man, it’s a free country. Why don’t you do like Bob Marley and emanstigate your mind from mental slavery, fool”. And he starts trippin, talkin about how he’s gonna get me fired and shit. So I was like “hey we don’t have to get nasty about this, why don’t we settle this like genitalmen”. So he’s like “Ok, I’m sorry for over reacting” and he puts out his hand to shake mine. That punk ass bitch must have thought I was some sort of chump. That’s gotta be the oldest trick in the book. So I reach for his hand with my right hand, and with my left hand I grab a coffee mug of his desk and cracked him straight in the dome with it. This fool must have a glass jaw or something cuz he went stright down. Blood was pouring out of his head, his girl starts trippin, and starts hitting me and shit. Luckily the mug was made out of mettal and it wasn’t broken, so I cracked her straight in the mouth with it. So she’s on the floor too. By this time everyone’s out of their chairs and are tellin me to chill the fuck out. So I was like “I am chilled out, I told him we’d settle this like genitalmen, that’s how we do it on the streets”. So this guy goes over and starts liftin the other guy off the floor. I was like “Fuck that, I knocked him out, so I get his wallet, you tryin to jack me for my loot”. I bet that fool never thought he’s see some temberlands so close up. I look around and everyone’s just standin there.
So everything was settled. I grabbed both those fool’s wallets and went back to delivering the mail.
Well about an hour later someone’s like “Aye, the boss wants to see you in the office”. So I was like “Cool, they finally gonna give me a raise for all the hard work I been puttin in”. When I got in the office, there was two cops in there. I guess some pansy ass bitch decided to rat me out. Now that’s some punk ass shit. So the cops took me to the station and shit, but I got out a few days later.
So now I’m lookin for some work. I saw on the site that all the other celerizers been playing some Unreal Tournamet too. So I went to the store and jacked a copy for myself. I gotta say that shit isn’t that cool, I mean everytime I launch that shit all I get is that same old little bomb that makes me reboot. If I’da known that was the game I wouldn’t have taken that shit, I already had that shit installed. I guess the guy I got the computer from was really into UT. Anyways my fingers are tried, and I got a job interview at a tech support center. Those fools better not get smart with their little questions and shit, or I’m gonna beat some ass.
PIECE!