CapnCrunch
by: Eli
The other day, I was shopping for coffee and meandered into the cereal aisle. It was there that I saw what could very well be a flux in the balance and structure of existence itself . There in the aisle 7 of my local supermarket, the collapse of the universe was manifested in achildren’s cereal. I’ll explain…
As a child I grew up on breakfast cereal. Mom would come home from the grocery store w/ various types of cereal ranging from the chocolate milk producing “Cocoa Puffs” to its fruity twin “Trix”. Cereal was all-encompassing for me. I sifted through the grocery bags to find out which one mom had picked for me this time. One of the best, was Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries.
Crunchberries were supersweet balls of sugar and some other mystery additive that made me wild. The catch was this: The crunchberries were mixed in w/ plain old yellow Cap’n crunch nuggets. These yellow nuggets were tasty, but they pale in comparison to the crunchberries. The ratio of crunchberries to nuggets was about twelve to one. So, in every spoonful of cereal I voraciously shoved into my mouth, I was going to receive only about one to three cruncberries and the rest would be nuggets.
A similar structure exists in another breakfast cereal, “Lucky Charms”. “Lucky Charms” has sugary marshmallows mixed in with an grain-like morsel at a ratio similar to Cap’n crunch. This was the yin and yang of my morning. I could either eat all the yellow nuggets and save the crunchberries for the end, or I could blend them both together for a mixed affect.
Either way, I knew that in life there was Yin (crunchberries) and a Yang (yellow nuggets) this system helped me at an early age accept the various applications of balance that exist in theworld. Without Darth Vader, there would be no Luke Skywalker. Without work, there would be no play. Without dark there would be no light. this concept existed in my head for twenty years…
Now, I am in the store staring in astonishment at the crumbling concepts of my youth. There, on the front row I see a box of cereal that reads: “Cap’n Crunch-All Crunchberries!!” To me this is worse than any nuclear crisis or y2k. This is a breakdown of that which holds the universe together. the makers of the cereal did not even wish to take credit for their actions. Before the all crunchberries title they added, “OOPS! we made a mistake!!” Damn right they made a mistake. It’s more than a mistake. It’s the breakdown of the laws of all that is known about the universe…